Life and Death

Before i get started from the outset these are my raw thoughts so please don't of me as crazy.Lately i have had dreams about my dad it has been odd,even after a year and a half i still struggle with his death.Some times i wonder if my mind is playing tricks with me.But all too often i come back to my senses and realize he is still gone and i must continue on.Sometimes i wish i had done somethings differently,I have found out now so many good things which have changed how i think of him.All of these things good as well.I wish i had the same positive energy he had,but all too often i am negative and rude.Do you ever want to be something totally opposite of what you are and feel you lack the will and discipline to change?Perhaps it is our personality?I for one am sure we are well able to change who we are,but only with God's help.I have broken so many molds of my life.Only by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.I still want so many things in my life.I see others that i look up too and wonder what i am doing with my life.I remember when i was in my 20's,i refused to show any sort of emotion,but this has changed very much for me.I wonder what has changed?Perhaps these are some good questions to ask ourselves?

Yesterday i bite the bullet and bought myself a bass guitar,for those who know me know that thats not like me.Although i have desired for quite some time to learn a instrument.I am not exactly skilled in this area,but have found it not as hard as i thought.As usual i make things out a lot harder than they are.

Today i finally got around to starting a blog,not sure why, maybe cause i see everyone doing it.I start with my job which is where unfortunately i spend alot of time.My job consists of dealing with many,lets say situations in any given day.I run a crew of 4-5 men who move,skate,raise,lower,or kick buildings.I used to say i loved my job,no longer the case,i like my job and at times it bring a certain amount of satisfaction.In my personal life i have 2 wonderful children and a amazing wife who puts up with the stress that comes home with me everyday.Although other people say they forget about work when they go home,not in my case.I at times wake up at 3am with a great idea about a job."Great idea would be to go back to sleep".I also attend and am apart of the ROCK church which i love.I love the Lord he has changed my life so much.I would not be here today if it wasn't for him.For those who read this i really miss Port Alberni but would not move back,for the record.